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Y O U T H T E C H N E W S For Kids and Teens, By Kids and Teens ================================================== Add Keyword: YT, YOUTH or YOUTHTECH to your *Favorite Places* list, or we'll hunt you down and drag you here kicking and screaming! ================================================== Monday, January 20th, 1996 Volume 2, Edition 9 Making Headlines This Week.... # Achooo: the reason your newsletters have been late! # A Day In The Life: come meet this week's victim! # Riches and Fame: get your start to stardom with YT news! # Geek Humor: see what Fabboo's sick mind came up with this week! # Cha Cha Chat: same old, and some new! ============ ~> ACHOOO! ============ Good morning, Youth Tech! From the subject of this section, you can probably guess why it is your newsletters haven't been coming recently. If you guessed that it's because I have the flu... you're wrong! <cackles madly> I thought I had the flu for about a week, so that's what I was telling people. After visiting my friendly neighborhood pediatrician, I was informed that the flu doesn't last for two weeks-- nope, I had pneumonia. Ick. Try not to ever come down with pneumonia, folks. It cuts into your free time drastically. It's not fun to be sick. The biggest pain is that I seem to be tired all the time. I go to bed at 8pm sometimes and wake up at noon the next day, only to find I haven't the energy to make it more than a few hours before I need to sleep again. <sighs> Oh well. And before I forget, the chatroom sent me a very nice email get-well card on Wednesday. Thanks so much. It's nice to be appreciated. :) ================== ~> A DAY IN THE LIFE ================== This week at YT News we interviewed YTCCFabboo, who surprisingly enough just starting working on the newsletter too. He used his leverage as supreme ruler of the Universe to get interviewed AND to get the newsletter job! He also wrote and edited this before-interview paragraph! Send him money. YT News: Heya Fabboo! I read your staff bio. The question everyone's been dying to ask is... sharecropping? No cash in that. YTCCFabboo: The worst part was that I had an incredible debt to the company store... Bought everything there and they put it on my account... then you get like 10 bucks a month and you can't pay it back. YT News: Sheesh. How'd you get the money to move? Sounds like a bad cycle to me. Oh, and are you immortal? Seems a lot of people are nowadays. YTCCFabboo: Well, I've been alive off and on since the early 12th century, but I can't remember most of it. As for immortality, I'm not telling anyone how it's done since when I lived on a small island in the Caribbean, I told everyone. Everyone ended up immortal, and they just kept aging. (This was before I perfected the art) YTCCFabboo: Plus if someone gets a deadly injury, they just walk around like nothing happened. It's gruesome. YT News: That sounds disgusting. Thanks for sharing it. <g> Anything else you'd like to say? Hobbies? Pets? YTCCFabboo: Yes. YTCCFabboo: I had pets but they died. YTCCFabboo: Every animal I own has died, in fact, but I'm not surprised because their lifespan was 4 years anyway. YTCCFabboo: Otherwise the ASPCA would be breathing down my neck wondering what happened to my guinea pig, and I'm having enough trouble with the IRS. They want to know how I had an income in the 1400's as a blacksmith. YT News: <g> YTCCFabboo: You read my profile, why don't you tell them my hobbies, huh??? YT News: You have strange hobbies. I like 'em. <cackle> Anything else to say before we close? YTCCFabboo: First of all, a throat lozenge will get rid of that cackle for you, and second, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. A penny saved is a penny earned. Don't judge a book by its cover. YT News: ::laughing:: YTCCFabboo: I tire of this drivel. YT News: All righty, that's all for today, folks. Thanks Fabboo. :) =================== ~> RICHES AND FAME! =================== Yes, get your start on the road to stardom and let YT help! You too can be published in YT News. Here's how. Remember that Techie Pals thing? The one I talked about for three weeks in a row awhile back? I'll refresh your memory. Techie Pals is an area of YT to hook up with an email penpal and make a few friends. You can press the What's Hot button from the main YT screen (Keyword: YT) to get there. Now, onto the fun stuff! Have you made a friend via Techie Pals? Great! We want to hear about it. Send your success stories to YT Mail, YTCC Elf and YTCC John. Here's the first one, from CMS114 aka Christina. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ When I frist postest it up I was waiting and no one answered so I though Maybe I should give up. I was waiting and was thinking How chep no one likes me ;( Then I was e-mail say to take me down of the list A was about to press Sent then Poff my computer said "You Got Mail" I was why Now Answered it the subject was YT PenPals! I was shocked after a month of a post no one answer and then they did! They loved making webpages like I do,so now I had one penpal. Then came a boyfriend and a hole buch of Girls to chat about girl things. I couldn't belive it I was like everyday a New penpal. Then people stoped Same thing Happined was going to take it off and Boom Someone wanted me for a penpal! Bye now I have so many penpals but I keep in touch with them all!! I even got to talk to each one. and when really none of my friends were online I had a YT penpal to talk to. PenPal Girl, Christina @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ =============== ~> GEEK HUMOR =============== Disclaimer. I didn't come up with any of this myself-- blame YTCC Fabboo for it, as he's taken over the humor section of this newsletter. Send him lots of hate mail. <cackles> Anyway, onto the jokes! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ For want of a better joke, we scoured the corridors of history and asked the greatest minds of all time the world's oldest question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Plato: For the greater good. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take. Douglas Adams: Forty-two. Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you. Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road. Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Aristotle: To actualize its potential. Buddha: If you meet the chicken on the road, kill it. Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence. Salvador Dali: The Fish. Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death. Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. David Hume: Out of custom and habit. Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life. Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ That was amusing. From now on, please send any contributions of humor to: YTCC Fabboo. Don't send them to me. Please. <grin> ============== CHA CHA CHAT! ============== First, some disappointing news. This week, I haven't a Quote for you. <sobs> The reason being, as some of you may have noticed, I haven't been in the chatroom this week. I seem to have slept right through most of my scheduled chats. Sigh. But neverfear, you'll get your quote next week! Maybe I'll even put in two quotes to make up for it. Anyway, here's the schedule for this week. Sunday ----------- 4pm - Internet Chat 7pm - Online FAQs 10pm - Graphics Design Chat Monday ------------ 7pm - Internet Chat 10pm - Screamin Sentences! Tuesday ------------ 7pm - Computer Age Wednesday ------------------ 8:30pm - Daffynitions! 10pm - AOL Q&A Thursday ------------- 7pm - ASCII Art 8:30pm - Software Chat 10pm - Mac Chat Friday --------- 7pm - Techie Trivia 8:30 pm - 95 Open Windows 11:30 pm - Trekkie Trivia! Saturday ------------- 8pm - Mac Chat 9:30 pm - Scrambled Words! 11pm - Web Clubs 12:30pm - Game Chat Note that I didn't list which YTCCs host which chats. Therefore, you'll just have to attend all the chats to find out. Hehehehehehe. *------------------------------------------------------------------------* That's All, Folks! *------------------------------------------------------------------------* Stay tuned for another exciting issue next week! ===REMEMBER, DON'T GIVE OUT YOUR PASSWORD!!!=== No AOL employee will EVER ask you for your password. If you give it out by mistake, go immediately to keyword: PASSWORD and change your password! 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