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Y O U T H T E C H N E W S For Kids and Teens, By Kids and Teens ================================================== Add Keyword: YT, YOUTH or YOUTHTECH to your *Favorite Places* list, or we'll hunt you down and drag you here kicking and screaming! ================================================== Saturday, November 30th, 1996 Volume 2, Edition 5 MAKING HEADLINES THIS WEEK . . . # Umm: the infamous elf is running out of catchy editorial names! # Voice Mail: you have a voice at YT.. take advantage of it! # Cha Cha Chat: check out the latest chat section improvements! # Geek Humor: everyone's favorite newsletter item! # Footnotes: in closing, I'd just like to say... bye! # Exclamation Points Anonymous Support Group: just kidding :) ======== UMM. . . ======== Wanna hear an interesting story? Ok, here goes. So it's about 9:07 eastern time on Saturday night, and I'm almost finished with this newsletter. Thing is, I need a catchy title for my editorial, 'cuz I'm always inspired more if I have a catchy title to work from. But I couldn't think of anything truly spiffy to use. So I'm sitting here, and all the sudden a friend signs on. I say to him, "Hey, can you help me think of a spiffy title for my editorial this week?" And he goes, "Umm..." Real helpful, right? Anyway, if you were wondering why this week's news section is called "Umm..." that's why. <grin> So what else do I have to say today? Pay attention, everyone... it's Shameless Plug time! Recently, in addition to hosting and editing YT News, your favorite YTCC Elf (that's me, of course) took on another position at Youth Tech: Binary Corner staff. Since I think my new job is really spiffy, I thought I'd take this opportunity to mention something. Binary Corner needs more staff! Please! Pretty please with sugar on top! Ideally, we're looking for two or three Mac users and maybe one more PC person. If you're interested, email YT Mail for a spiffy application. As usual, send your comments, suggestions, and flames to me at: YTCC Elf. =========== VOICE MAIL! =========== Echooo... echoo... echo. Yes, you have a voice at YT! Everyone does, and we'd like to hear from you. Were you irritated that you couldn't help slaughter Bob Dole in the election? Well, Youth Tech is looking for the opinions of its members, so finally you can make your voice heard! Spffy, eh? * Ballot One: Tips and Tricks! And behind door number one.... <drumroll> Have any cool Mac or PC tips to share? Stuff you've discovered over the months? Useful, amusing or just plain weird secrets? Send 'em in to screen name YT Mail today! Or tomorrow, or possibly the next day, or maybe Wednesday... * Ballot Two Top Ten Reasons Your Computer Broke! Door number two, for adventures in humor! Did aliens abduct your Mac and fiddle with the guts, thus causing strange and non-repairable bugs to suddenly appear? Sure, sure, the guys at Apple have heard it all before. And for the PC users out there, anything made by Microsoft uses strange alien technology in the first place, so that could explain why your sound card suddenly started playing the Macarena for no reason. Spiffy! Anyway, send your Top Tens to YT Mail! ============== CHA CHA CHAT! ============== Look, at YT! It's a song, it's a dance... no, it's... it's... Cha Cha Chat! In case anyone's wondering what happened to Spotlight On Chat, never fear. Cha Cha Chat is bigger and better. And we didn't even raise the price! Cool, eh? Since the newsletter section is expanded and improved, I thought it'd be appropriate to christen it with a new, spiffier name. Bigger and better, you ask? Yep, I reply! Let me tell you about this. For a couple weeks now, I've wanted to make a few changes to Spotlight on Chat. One of the more interesting ideas was to add a "Heard in the Chatroom" quote each week. Before half a million people jump down my throat, I'll admit the thought is stolen from another KO area here on AOL. I've forgotten which one at the moment, but if someone would like to inform me, I'll be sure to mention it next time. Anyway, onward to the spiffy new chat stuff! Ack! This week's quote doesn't seem to come with a source. Yes, you can blame my terrible memory for that little oops, too. If anyone recognizes this, feel free to step forward and claim it. :) Heard in the Chatroom: "ytcc, are you the real mccoy?" The question was addressed to YTCC McCoy, aka Nathan, who replied, "yep!" <grin> Moving along, we come to a brief announcement. As most of you should be aware by now, unless of course you've been living under a rock, Youth Tech's chat schedule is all-new and expanded! Instead of short one hour chats, each chat now lasts an extra half an hour. 90 minutes of fun! Here are a few topics I thought might be of interest: * Sunday, 7pm: Online FAQs If you don't know what the letters FAQ stand for, you're probably in need of one. FAQ means Frequently Asked Questions; it's usually a file of, well, frequently asked questions. And their answers, of course! YTCC Josh has all the answers in this cool chat. :) * Tuesday, 7pm: Computer Age You have now entered the Computer Age; please keep all hands and arms inside the chatroom until chat has come to a complete stop. Welcome to the next dimension! YTCC DMB and YTCC Smile answer your questions about the modern age of computers, and make things up if they can't think of a good answer. Fun! * Friday, 10pm: Internet Chat Ever seen those spiffy T-shirts that proudly proclaim: "I got run over on the Information Superhighway"? Hang out at this chat, and hopefully you'll never have to wear one. YTCC Meteor's your official tour-guide on the YT Net Bus! ============= GEEK HUMOR! ============= Hey hey hey! Folks, we're slipping. No one sent me anything to use in Geek Humor this week. What's wrong, people? We were doing so well for two weeks in a row. I'm disappointed in you. <sob> Next time, ok? This Week's Spiffy Geek Humor: ##################################################### Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report! If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! You can't say this? What a shame sir! We'll find you Another game sir. If the label on the cable on the table at your house, Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! ##################################################### Spiffy! Remember, send jokes to screen name: YTCC Elf! ============ FOOTNOTES! ============ 1) Holy Spiffyness, Robin! If you've noticed that this newsletter seems to have more than its fair share of the word "spiffy," congratulations! You're very observant. The spiffy's were definitely put in here for a reason: spiffy is the favorite word of a friend of mine. So I just figured I'd say: spiffy! You know who you are. <grin> 2) Ahoy, Nate! Just in case I'm about to be thwapped by YTCC McCoy, for the quote mentioned early in the Cha Cha Chat section, I decided to take a quick moment and say thanks to him, for being the reason that quote was: Heard in the Chatroom! :) That's All, Folks *------------------------------------------------------------------------* Stay tuned for another exciting issue next week! ===REMEMBER, DON'T GIVE OUT YOUR PASSWORD!!!=== No AOL employee will EVER ask you for your password. If you give it out by mistake, go immediately to keyword: PASSWORD and change your password! And don't try surfing anyone, either. ***WANT TO UNSUBSCRIBE?*** The answer is: NO! Of course you don't want to unsubscribe. But if you really, truly feel that you must, I suppose we understand. 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